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Depression

Throughout my years, I have suffered from a mild form of depression. Not the kind that paralyzes you, but the kind that robs you of your joy. It’s the kind that kills any motivation to plan for a better future. God has blessed me with many blessings, and I can honestly say, that all is well. Then for various reasons, all is not well. My children knew when I was feeling depressed because I would go to buy my favorite comfort food, Kentucky Fried Chicken. Eating it would help for that moment.  Sometimes I feel like I am living out the lyrics to the song for the Rolling Stones, (I can’t get no) Satisfaction!

Mostly I feel this mild form of depression during the winter months when I cant seem to find many fun things to do. It certainly happened to me when the Pandemic hit and everything I had worked on came to an uncertain halt. Stores canceled their orders and all the art shows shut down leaving only online sales which were a fifth of what I usually sold. The comfort of relationships became distant as we tried to control the virus through social distancing. And although I have not personally experienced many deaths due to COVID-19, I know people who have and that makes it real and sad too.

It certainly happened to me when I was divorced. I had to go forward, but it seemed like the air had been punched out of me and I didn’t know how to go forward or how to be happy again.

God gave me a scripture to cling to during those years. Psalms 27: 13-14, I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

This scripture promise has kept me going forward no matter what has come my way. I know my God loves me and is working all things out for my good. So when I have bad days, and I still do, I remember all that He has already done for me and I am truly grateful.

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